I'm an exmormon living in Utah. Some would ask why I don't leave it alone, but in truth, it never leaves me alone. I'm surrounded by it, from the ward, to family, friends, and coworkers. I can't go to work one day without hearing a church related conversation. Even in the middle of a meeting I'm conducting, someone will go off the rails and just launch into the latest news they feel is important for all to know that is church related. I'm also currently married to a believing member, and in our split faith home, things of course come up. So as a result I still enjoy being informed about the church and what's it's up to. One day my kids may choose to be baptized or serve a mission in it. Also, from time to time I find myself involved in discussions regarding the church, and why I don't believe any more. There's a huge list of reasons, but I just had a conversation with a coworker that not only summarizes the issues well, but also to me gives a good summary for why magical/religious beliefs are giving way more and more to secular ideas.
It's not the first and won't be the last time I've heard it, but in having a conversation with a guy at work about the church, he lobbed the "anti" and "angry" terms at me. I wasn't even a little angry in our conversation, I was enjoying it. And for the most part I feel like I'm over the anger towards the church. To hold on to that anger would be to let the church get the best of me. So I pointed out how those terms are used in such a loaded way and that they are a very dismissive oversimplification of people's criticisms. I then gave him examples of the assumptions Mormons make when those terms are used, vs the reasoning and sources behind the criticisms and even resentment. He then shifted to the I respect your beliefs you respect mine. To this I said he's wrong in demanding respect for a belief. I respect him as a person and his right to believe what he wants, but I don't have to respect his belief if I feel it is wrong. Claims of supernatural deserve scrutiny to see if they have merit, not a fake protective shield of misplaced respect. If I were to tell him I believed an invisible pink unicorn wanted me to commit evil acts that harm people he wouldn't respect such a belief, and he shouldn't. Then came the just have faith argument. And he tried to tell me I'm practicing faith by not believing an accepting sciences answer to the Book of Mormon. To this I pointed to the many people who make faith claims for the many other religions of the world. I also don't feel accepting verifiable data requires any faith. The church defined faith as believing in things that are unseen but true. I generally try to avoid these conversations because they are such a waste. But it seems every time I find myself in one, the same tired reasons get used every time. No wonder religion is losing ground to secularism. They simply must come up with better arguments. The only one that makes any sense is the community argument. But for me I decided personal longing for community was selfish if in order to find such community I had to support an organization that has most definitely harmed and caused a lot of pain via physical, mental, and financial means to so many.
If you're a believer of Mormonism you may think I'm just wrong. After all the church is said to be growing and there's proof in the numbers based on the reporting done in General Conference, which now claim the church has over 14 million members. However, they are counting based on baptisms in that number, and that doesn't account for people who were once baptized but no longer consider themselves Mormon. I know this is just hearsay, but I can tell you a previous Presiding Bishop of the LDS church was quoted from a private event as saying that the average activity rate of the entire church is only about 36%. Pew survey results tend to verify this as well, and many suspect that actual practicing and believing members of the church worldwide are only just over 5 million. Not a very good retention rate. Why is that? I believe it's because of the poor arguments available for the criticisms. The same is also happening in developed countries to many religions using the same arguments. Until religions come up with better responses for the general membership to troubling questions than the broken record responses I've become accustom to hearing, they will continue to lose ground to secularism. The only real growth for religion today seems to be to have lots of babies and brainwash them into the faith of their parents.
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