Today was a good day.

I have some posts in the making, but life's been busy.  So to my one or two readers, I'm still here.  But in light of the supreme courts rulings regarding Prop 8 and Doma today I have to say it's a good day, and I'm so happy for the gay community.  There's just no good argument for intolerance.  I've already heard a bit of the Christian persecution complex on the radio, and I thought this video was worth sharing. Enjoy the day, and the video should give you a chuckle.

God the Ladies Man

                 I was watching a video from Ted Talks by Sam Harris, and he discussed women veiling their faces because of religion.  In the photos it was showing Muslim women.  In my memory I thought there was a scripture in the Bible that said women should cover their faces.  There is.  This led me to look at more of the misogynistic things in the Bible.  I referenced the skeptics annotated bible website for help.  There is a lot more than I'm going to touch on but here is some of what I found.  While reading this I have a question.  In Mormonism, in the temple women are made to veil their faces during some of the rituals, but not the men.  I asked women in a forum how they felt about this, and many said it really bothered them or they even hated it.  So to any women who may read this I would ask, how do you feel knowing these scriptures are how God sees you.  You can say I am selectively reading the scriptures and focusing on the bad ones, but so is ignoring these scriptures and only reading the good ones.  The fact is these scriptures are in the book.  You can't claim to live by the bible selectively and really claim to believe in it.  To ignore these scriptures and only focus on the ones you like would be to admit the bible is full of crap you can't live by.  For that matter, I don't think I've ever met a Christian woman who lives and believes as if any of these scriptures I'm going to list matter to her.  So have I ever met a Christian woman who really believes in the bible? 

Genesis

                 To protect Angels from a mob Lot gives them his two virgin daughters.  Any father who would seriously surrender his daughters to be taken advantage of is sick.  But what God sends to worthless "Angels" and doesn't protect them without requiring or prohibiting such a terrible thing.

19:8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

 Exodus

                 First don't tell me selling daughters is old hat, and "we don't do that anymore."  The argument that we've abandoned old practices only supports my point that the bible is a book loaded with terrible crap that people who claim to live by it don't really follow.  But yes, in the bible, God's word, women are property and can be sold.

21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

                 But what happens if she fails to please her new master.  Note is says master and not husband.

21:8 If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

21:9 And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.
21:10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.
21:11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

                But what if a man gets a girl to have sex with him.  Surely she should become his wife right?  She may want to or not want to but what matters is what her father decides.   If the father says no you can't have her, then you have to pay him the going price for virgins.

22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife.

22:17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.

Deuteronomy

                 When conquering other people, kill all the men, but keep the women.  God has given them to you.

 20:13 And when the LORD thy God hath delivered it into thine hands, thou shalt smite every male thereof with the edge of the sword: 

20:14 But the women, and the little ones, and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof,  shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shalt eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the LORD thy God hath given thee. 

                 Again if you want a women, just go have her, but if you decide she doesn't "delight" you, just let her go, but you can't sell her because you have "humbled" her with your manly manliness. Holy crap.

 21:11 And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife;

21:12 Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails;
21:13 And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
21:14 And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.

                Rules for having two wives.

21:15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

                 Hey, all you women wearing pants.  Knock it off!

22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

                 Yup this barbaric old book is certainly what the modern world needs to know how to live. For example, here's what to do if the man takes a wife but decides he hates her. 

22:13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,

22:14 And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:
22:15 Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate:
22:16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
22:17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.
22:18 And the elders of that city shall take that man and chastise him;
22:19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
22:20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:
22:21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

                 What should we do in the event some guy rapes a virgin? Simple. If it happens in a city, stone her. If it happens in a field, let her live and kill the guy. It wasn't her fault, because no one would hear her if she cried out, like they should obviously be able to do in a city. What if it happens in a field in a city? Oh shit. God help I'm confused. And if a guy gets caught having sex with a virgin who isn't wed? No problem, just give her dad fifty bucks and she's yours.

22:23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

22:24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
22:25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die.
22:26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter:
22:27 For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.
22:28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
22:29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

                If two guys are fighting and one of their wives reaches in and takes him by the "secrets" you should cut off her hand.  And don't feel bad about it.

25:11 When men strive together one with another, and the wife of the one draweth near for to deliver her husband out of the hand of him that smiteth him, and putteth forth her hand, and taketh him by the secrets:

25:12 Then thou shalt cut off her hand, thine eye shall not pity her.

                Ok I'm not going to pretend I can even begin to set up this next one, but eating your kids?  WTF?

28:56 The tender and delicate woman among you, which would not adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness, her eye shall be evil toward the husband of her bosom, and toward her son, and toward her daughter,

28:57 And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.
28:58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 

Judges

                For every man a damsel or two!  Hurrah!

5:30 Have they not sped? have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two; to Sisera a prey of divers colours, a prey of divers colours of needlework, of divers colours of needlework on both sides, meet for the necks of them that take the spoil?

                When you guys are done conquering that city, kill everyone....accept for the virgin girls.  Give girls to Benjamin and the gang. And yet 400 virgins sufficed them not. 

21:11 And this is the thing that ye shall do, Ye shall utterly destroy every male, and every woman that hath lain by man.

21:12 And they found among the inhabitants of Jabeshgilead four hundred young virgins, that had known no man by lying with any male: and they brought them unto the camp to Shiloh, which is in the land of Canaan.
21:13 And the whole congregation sent some to speak to the children of Benjamin that were in the rock Rimmon, and to call peaceably unto them.
21:14 And Benjamin came again at that time; and they gave them wives which they had saved alive of the women of Jabeshgilead: and yet so they sufficed them not.

1 Samuel

                What better price for a wife than to go kill 200 of her father's enemies, cut off their foreskins, and present the foreskins as a generous offer.  Even when the dad only requested 100.  What the hell was he going to do with them anyhow. Make a soup? And who the hell slays 20 0men. Did they just line up and let him lop of their heads one by one? Was he some sort of mythological super being....oh wait.

18:25 And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.

18:26 And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
18:27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

2 Samuel

                God hates race mixing but loves polygamy.

5:13 And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.

1 Kings

                Naughty old Solomon loved the ladies.  But he couldn't help himself and took some foreign women as well...which God didn't like. Remember, every sperm is sacred. Keep it in your hood.

11:1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites:

11:2 Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.
11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

2 Chronicles

                So....polygamy....God was ok with it, but sometimes he isn't, but most the time he is...and he's the same yesterday, today and forever?

11:21 And Rehoboam loved Maachah the daughter of Absalom above all his wives and his concubines: (for he took eighteen wives, and threescore concubines; and begat twenty and eight sons, and threescore daughters.)

13:21 But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives, and begat twenty and two sons, and sixteen daughters.
24:3 And Jehoiada took for him two wives; and he begat sons and daughters.

Ezra

                Man you guys are dumb...God doesn't want the race mixing thing to happen.  Remember!

9:2 For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass.

                So what do we do now then to be right by God? Well you abandon those wives and kids or feel his wrath of course!

10:2 And Shechaniah the son of Jehiel, one of the sons of Elam, answered and said unto Ezra, We have trespassed against our God, and have taken strange wives of the people of the land: yet now there is hope in Israel concerning this thing.

10:3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
10:10 And Ezra the priest stood up, and said unto them, Ye have transgressed, and have taken strange wives, to increase the trespass of Israel.
10:11 Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives.
10:12 Then all the congregation answered and said with a loud voice, As thou hast said, so must we do.

Nehemiah

                Seriously...our sperm is so righteous, that using it in a foreign woman really pisses of God.

13:25 And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.

13:26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.
13:27 Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?

NEW TESTAMENT!!!

                Sweet, since old testament God is such an ass...lets be happy we have new testament God to be nice. Good cop bad cop right? Wait...Bad cop bad cop?  WTF?

Romans 1 (PAUL)

                The natural use of a woman is for sex.  And man with man sex, that is sooooo wrong fellas!

1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

1 Corinthians (PAUL)

                It's better to not marry, but to avoid fornication, take one wife.

7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband

                Women are under men. I can't help it babe, it's Gods rules, I didn't make em....aw come on babe! I'm just trying to be a good Christian!

11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                Women cover your heads and you are for the man, not the other way around. I love this one a little big also because it's so common for Christians to ignore the misogyny in their religion, and point the burke in Islam.

11:5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.

11:6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
11:8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
11:13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
11:14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?
11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

Epheisans

                Again with the subjugation of women to men. At this point I feel like as a man I should be breaking out into song "Our God is an awesome God, He reigns over heaven above.  With wisdom power and love our God is an awesome God!"  Accept this kind of attitude makes me sick. Makes God seem so human, and points to the humanity and masculinity of the probably authors of this bullshit.  And please spare me the contrived dribble about men and women are equals in the sight of your God.

5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Colossians 3

                Again with the submitting. (yes it does keep telling the husbands to be nice to them also)

3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

 

1 Timothy

                Whats with all the fancy jewelry and such.  God says girls should be plain.

2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

 

                Women be quiet, and don't let them teach.

2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

                Poor Adam.  Stupid Eve.  Babies are your punishment.

2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Titus 2

                Teach the women to obey their men. Someone forgot to tell my wife about this. She just doesn't listen like her God wants her to.

2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1 Peter

                In case it isn't clear yet.

3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

 

                Stop dressing so pretty

3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

                Oh, and you are weak...er

3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

                So in summary.  Women, God says you belong to us, you create all the problems, you shouldn't dress like a man or in jewelry, we can have as many of you as we want, married or not, if you're not a virgin you have no value, we are your masters and God made you for us, you should not speak, you should veil your heads if you want to talk to God, you should not be allowed to teach, babies are you punishment because Eve ate a piece of fruit, if you are in a country we conquer we should be killing everyone but the virgins, because God gives them to us as reward, if we take women who are different race as wives it sometimes bothers God, the new testament didn't exactly improve things for you, either, clearly.  I barely scratched the surface on these types of scriptures, but I think I made my point.

               For God so loved 50% of the world that he gave you to us.  Also he basically he had some sadistic side to him that required mass murder and rape and women were property.  Thank you Bible. I now know how to view women in the 21st century. Give me a fucking break. Can we dismiss the old book as barbaric and crazy already? If this book really is the word of God, do you want him as your neighbor? Some people may believe some of this, but no one really believes all of this, and they certainly don't live by it. Get your bible out of here. You don't even live or believe in it. And if you did, we'd be screwed.

 

                Let me finish on a more serious note. Scriptures like these, whether you choose to abide by them, interpret them the same, or live by this book in a different manner, are and have been used to do awful things to women. Don't tell me about the "good book" in ignorance of what it contains, and pretend these verses haven't caused some real pain and suffering.